if life gives you lemons...chuck them back and say i wanted muffins instead!!!!

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

Two black guys jump off a cliff, who wins? The black guy.

Joay impistato is a fig

why?

conrad profit

What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

Lebron James vs. Kobe Bryant

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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