A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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What do you call 10,000 black men with their heads sticking out of the ground? Afro-turf

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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what's retarded and has red hair? You. ;)

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What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure Niiiiggggeeee what is the last letterThe last letter is NOT and R! Its an R. Good job honey

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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what happens during a climax apples

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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