A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

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What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

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Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

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why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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