What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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9001

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

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What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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