Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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What's gay and ugly? An ugly gay.

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Why Oscar lives with elephants in a zoo ? Because he's an elephant.

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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69, hahaha

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Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Six and seven are numbers, and cannot feel emotions such as fear.

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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A black woman sits down in the front of a bus.

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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how do kill a black guy? shoot him in the face

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I'm a like whore

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

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What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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