Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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what is the only death better than asama bin ladin JUSTIN BIEBER'S

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Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

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why am i on this site? cause its funny

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

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"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

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what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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