What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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Ask me if I am a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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space is fun

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road To Get To The Other Side

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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a retard lost...

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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