What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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conrad profit

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

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What do you call a black person at a 7-11? A customer.

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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