How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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feces

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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wuts the diference between a black guy and arab? black guy kills whitye guy arab lijkes black guy (no jews or **** thou)

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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Matty B

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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