Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Agricultural production fell significantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Guess What? What? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How much did the Holla Cost?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your mamas so fat. She fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops