A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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