Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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Hearpin my durp

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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