What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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DOWN

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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Did you know it is impossible to say "Good eye might" and not sound Australian...

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Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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