why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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So did you hear what happened to the deaf guy? He didn't either

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roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

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What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

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Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

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What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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