Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it had earlier escaped from its cage and had since began to wonder around the local town

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops