Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black guy and Hispanic guy jump off the Empire State Building at the EXACT same time. Who dies first? Who cares?!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I'm a like whore

thumb_up thumb_down -11

That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A satisfied elephant and a dead poodle.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

WHO LIVES IN A TIN SHACK THUMB MOUNTNORIS ALCATRAZ MAGHBARREY MUSTARD GAS MILK STAIN REGESTERED S.O SCREAMS MADELINN SBB OPERATION SBB FREE MEAT SANTA GREASE 590 ENGLISH FOLDER SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Like my post because I have no friends And then don't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why was George Washington buried on a hill? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops