what's red and blue? your heart

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

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anti jokes

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

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The same girl who got cancer for christmas had a birthday soon after, as a present She got kimo...but it failed

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Where is my tractor?

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Sorry boss

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two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops