People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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68 :)

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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Are you Drew?

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Women have the right to vote.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it had earlier escaped from its cage and had since began to wonder around the local town

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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