Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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What's the difference between God and Kanye West? God doesn't think he's Kanye West.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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A seal walks into a club.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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Are you Drew?

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it had earlier escaped from its cage and had since began to wonder around the local town

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Women have the right to vote.

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops