so a kangaroo a piece of cake and a whale are all doing... ...nothing they would not hang out together

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

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I'm a like whore

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little Tommie is dead In a body bag Going to the dumpster Behind my house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why don't you ask him, o wait he's a chicken, you cant ask him. he is incapeable of speaking.

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Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

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man boobs

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A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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The Sentence Below is True The Sentence Above is False

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What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

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Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

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this is gay

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dislike this...please.

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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