Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

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Who is a knob? ross d

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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( o Y o )

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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LOL May Wong

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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What's the cutest thing about a redhead? I know, I couldnt think of anything either

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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