I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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A girl is on the phone with her boyfriend the boy friend has a rash the girl said put ointment on it ointment cures everything the boyfriend responded not cancer.

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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¿melano?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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Why did the teacher yell at her students? The class was acting completely inappropriate and she felt it was necessary to discipline them so the current situation won’t repeat its self.

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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