What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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Why wasn't the boy at his basketball game? - Because he, his twin brother, and pregnant mother all died in a fatal car accident involving a train on the way their.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

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Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

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wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

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HAPPY NOVEMBER 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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