What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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I'm banging your sister.

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100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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Abe Lincholn had a son :) But he died |:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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