Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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Chuck Norris died.

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Hey, look under there! Under what?

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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