A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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whats better than 24................. 25

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops