Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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what do you call a white man surround by a bunch of black men in prison a congraulation ceromony (and gang rape) pppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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Which one is hardest?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Women's rights.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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