A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

thumb_up thumb_down +11

motley crew

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Homework.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was little Timmy an orphan? His family were slaughtered when he was three.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops