Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

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who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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A genie came out of a lamp explain?

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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