What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

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An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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