Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Garry Glitters on here

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do kallum and joel have in common they both work at club getaway

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A pedophile walks into a daycare

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops