Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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why did i fall? i got pushed!

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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Take my wife- to the store.

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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no

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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