I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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[] i have read and agree to the terms of service Nope

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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