Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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haha, you're an orphan

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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knock knock go away ok

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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