How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

thumb_up thumb_down +41

marshal sterio had sex

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call six million jews? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Christopher Walken to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

thumb_up thumb_down +37

roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

12

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops