What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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get on your knees and make a donut face:)

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Hearpin my durp

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This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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