Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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Why Oscar lives with elephants in a zoo ? Because he's an elephant.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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knock knock who's there?

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the Canadian wife is very disappointed in her night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops