Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

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[] i have read and agree to the terms of service Nope

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Women's Rights.

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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