What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Why did the blond do so horribly on the SAT's? She was pulled outside halfway through her testing session by the school janitor who molested and murdered her in the bathroom.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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A. Hey.. B. Hi

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Whats a box full of sand? a sandsquare

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My van is coming, I'm gonna get you!

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What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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A jew go out of a bar

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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Mmmmmmmmbutch

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What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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