Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other!

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Where is my tractor?

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Doorbell salesman.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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