what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

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wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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