Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

thumb_up thumb_down

What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

010011100110100101100011011001010010000001110100011100100111100100101100001000000110001001110101011101000010000001110100011010000110010100100000011010100110111101101011011001010010000001101001011100110010000001110011011011110110110101100101011101110110100001100101011100100110010100100000011001010110110001110011011001012

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

asparagus

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops