A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why don't you ask him, o wait he's a chicken, you cant ask him. he is incapeable of speaking.

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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This is not a joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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anti jokes

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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i dislike sack in my mouth

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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What's better than sex? Nothing

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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What do you call 10,000 black men with their heads sticking out of the ground? Afro-turf

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops