How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

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What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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