I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

Are you a human?

Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

What did the clock say? The time.

knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

Justin Beiber

why am i on this site? cause its funny

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

I like to eat people

what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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