I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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Women's rights...

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops