What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

poo poo you you doo doo too too

What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

Jared Gough is a slut

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

Your mother is a man.

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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