Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

minecraft

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to Emma? I raped her!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops