A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down -32

how did the little girl die cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

thumb_up thumb_down -46

GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What do you do if you see a bleeding Mexican in your front yard? Quickly respond to the accident and supply the wounded victim with first aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

thumb_up thumb_down -52

whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

thumb_up thumb_down -74

*knock knock "there's a door bell"

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's a small person? A midget

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call six million jews? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops