A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the child die? Natural causes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Nothing yet CC

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a catholic priest and a young boy

thumb_up thumb_down +22

That's Racist

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops