How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats brown and smells like shit shit

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What was Helen Keller book called Bsnshsiengwkaisg

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +2

kiss me?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

thumb_up thumb_down

how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

thumb_up thumb_down

24

thumb_up thumb_down

An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

thumb_up thumb_down

You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

thumb_up thumb_down

When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

thumb_up thumb_down

why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down

#scabbers

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops