Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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Good boy

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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I saw a shovel once.

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: why the long face? he has cancer

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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What looks like a dick? A penis

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

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-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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whats water and frozen? an ice cube

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knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road To Get To The Other Side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops