what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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A jew go out of a bar

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what did one tree say to the other? move over

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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