An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

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How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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democracy

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What's dead? Your mum.

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That didn't hurt.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops