- Anti Joke

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

Matt Damon

two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

So a black and mexican go to the foodstore to get foodstamps.the end

A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

Knock knock runs away laughing

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

Trees are like friends. They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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