Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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kyle dosnt eat dick...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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Why was the man sad His son got raped

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my woman with big tits I lied about the woman

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm asking, really... ..come on, someone has to know...

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

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your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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