Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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Take my wife- to the store.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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What's 9+10=? 19

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Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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You just won the game...

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops