Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

Your mother is so old that she is dead.

What do you call a gay couple of kangaroos adopted baby A Joey

What do the holocaust and 9/11 have in common? They were both terrible tragedies that people will look back upon in sadness for years.

How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

verry nice how mUCH?

What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

Ching Chong Bing Bong.. Yoyao? Dat U?

Ian is cutie!!!!!;)

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and decide to have a drinking contest. Who won? The rabbi. The priest died of alcohol poisoning later that night.

it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

why couldn't the the black man get a job? because he doesn't posses the correct work ethic.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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