whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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whats long and hard on a black man? his femur.

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Where is my tractor?

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Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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Women's Sports

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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Women.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Your mamas so fat. She fat.

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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Cleveland winning something

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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